Self-care has turned into a product you can buy. Scroll through your feed, and it’s everywhere: serums, supplements, the latest ‘must-have’ gadgets. It’s no longer about taking the time to care for yourself, instead, it’s an endless shopping list of temporary fixes. It’s hard not to fall for the trap. You watch TikToks of girls with perfect skin, perfect hair, and perfect relationships… the perfect life, and then they swear that the secret to their happiness is their 10-step skin-care routine or their $800 blow dryer. Society presents an ideal of perfectionism that is impossible to attain, and when we inevitably fall short, we’re sold “solutions” in the form of products and services. The truth is, that self-care is accessible to anyone, regardless of your budget.
The origins of self-care
Long before “self-care” became a marketing buzzword, it held a completely different meaning. In the 1950s, Carl Rogers introduced self-care as part of his work on personal growth and mental health. Rogers believed that self-worth and self-compassion were critical to an individual's well-being, especially for those institutionalized in mental health facilities. Self-care, in this context, wasn’t about indulgence; it was a path to personal empowerment.
The concept further evolved in the 1960s and '70s, taking on a powerful role within the Black Panther Party, who viewed self-care as a form of radical resilience. For them, it was essential for survival amidst systemic oppression. They organized health clinics, food programs, and community support as ways to maintain their strength in the fight for justice. Self-care was a collective, value-driven practice—about preserving both the individual and the community’s ability to keep pushing for change.
The Modern Transformation of Self-Care: Consumerism and Individualism
In recent years, self-care has exploded into a full-blown industry. Social and political upheavals—like the election of Donald Trump and the COVID-19 pandemic—left many people feeling uncertain and stressed, turning self-care into a widely embraced coping strategy. But as demand grew, so did commercialization. Today, self-care is often sold to us in the form of pricey products and luxury services, making it feel like something we need to buy to feel better.
This modern version of self-care also emphasizes individualism, often marketed as a private act of “treating yourself” or “recharging". While true mental health relies heavily on social support, the self-care we’re encouraged to practice today tends to happen in isolation—using products that reinforce independence rather than connection. The original, community-driven roots of self-care have shifted toward a solitary experience, leaving out the social connection that’s essential to well-being.
I am not at all saying that doing a face mask occasionally, going to the spa, or buying a sweet treat to cheer yourself up is without merit, but self-care today often feels like a shopping list. Rather than focusing on genuine well-being, it has become a vehicle for overconsumption, pushing us to buy more to feel “complete.” The message is clear: if you just have this product or that service, you’ll be a better, happier version of yourself. But this cycle of consumption rarely leads to lasting fulfillment. Instead, it feeds the idea that caring for yourself is something you achieve by spending money.
Why We Buy: The Psychology of
Spending on Self-Care
One of the most powerful forces behind our current obsession with self-care products is emotional spending. In an age where stress, anxiety, and burnout are commonplace, many of us turn to shopping as a way to momentarily soothe our emotions. Buying the latest trending product promises a momentary escape from the pressures of daily life. This emotional connection is amplified by social comparison, especially on social media platforms where people curate their lives to appear flawless.
A harmful cycle is thus created when the thrill of buying a new product slowly starts to wear off, leading many to seek the next item in hopes of recapturing that feeling. This is known as the “hedonic treadmill” – the cycle of fleeting satisfaction that often accompanies consumer purchases. Moreover, the culture around self-care encourages us to view these purchases as investments in our well-being, making it easier to justify spending on items that may not offer long-term value. This can blur the line between genuine self-care and a consumer-driven habit, where our need for relief or self-improvement is channeled into spending rather than practices that foster true well-being.
Defining True Self-Care: A Holistic Approach
True self-care goes beyond consumerism. It’s about meeting our essential needs in ways that sustainably supports our well-being.
Social Self-Care:
Social connections are crucial for mental health. To truly take care of your social self you should…
Prioritize meaningful relationships (and get rid of the toxic ones)
Be mindful of your social battery, and be okay with saying no to social invitations if it’s running low.
Take breaks from social media.
Emotional Self-Care:
Emotional well-being comes from practices that build resilience. It can strengthen our capacity to handle life’s challenges, fostering genuine mental health rather than relying on quick fixes. To truly take care of your emotional self you should…
Set boundaries and stick to them
Practice mindfulness
Practice gratitude
Reach out to your support networks
Financial Self-Care:
This practice helps build stability and reduce stress over the long term, contributing to a deeper sense of security rather than just fleeting gratification. To truly take care of your financial well-being you should…
Set financial goals
Track your spending
Create a budget
Pay yourself first (prioritize investing in your future)
It’s alright to spend your money on beauty supplies, hair care, and any other wellness product that you want to try. But remember that self-care isn’t about following trends or buying the latest product. It’s about nurturing ourselves in ways that align with our genuine needs – emotional, social, and financial. True self-care is accessible, and personal, and ultimately doesn’t come with a price tag.
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Great blog Uma !!!! Very important topic people are spending way too much time effort and money on temporary fixes