Breaking Free From Self-Doubt: How Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Helped Increase My Confidence
- Shelby Ochshorn
- Feb 23
- 5 min read
I’ve always been my harshest critic. For as long as I can remember, a voice in my head would chime in at the worst possible times: “You’re not good enough,” “You’re not smart enough to be here,” or “Why even bother trying?” Whether raising my hand in class to answer a question I was unsure of, starting a new job, or meeting new people, this inner dialogue held me back from fully embracing life’s opportunities.
For years, I thought this was just who I was – someone who overanalyzed every move and doubted every decision. That began to change when I learned how Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) could rewire my thinking. In this blog, I’ll share how CBT transformed my relationship with self-doubt and gave me the tools to silence that inner critic.
Understanding the Mind: Why We Get Stuck in Self-Doubt
Before diving into my journey, it’s essential to understand why self-doubt happens. Research suggests that it often stems from our core beliefs: our deep-seated perceptions about ourselves, others, and the world (Hermann et al., 2002). My core beliefs were becoming negatively influenced by my negative automatic thought processes. Negative automatic thoughts are involuntary, habitual, and often irrational thoughts that arise in response to situations, usually reinforcing negative emotions like anxiety, depression, or self-doubt (Flouri & Panourgia, 2012). These thoughts distort reality without our awareness, shaping our behaviour and mood.
CBT taught me that automatic thoughts aren’t facts – they’re shaped by past experiences. For example, a childhood memory of embarrassment during a presentation can lead to a limiting belief like “I’m bad at public speaking, and I always will be.” This negative automatic thought pattern, known as cognitive distortion, exaggerates negativity, twists reality, and fuels self-doubt, reinforcing negative patterns like overgeneralization (“I always mess things up”) or catastrophizing (“If I fail, everything will fall apart”; Yurica & DiTomasso, 2005). Think of them as mental funhouse mirrors – distortions warp our perception, exaggerating the bad and minimizing the good.
My Breaking Point
My struggle with self-doubt peaked in my first year of university. After receiving feedback on an assignment I cared about, I fixated on one suggestion for improvement rather than my strong effort. Thoughts like “I must be the stupidest person in my class” and “Why try at all?” spiralled into inaction – I started to doubt my abilities and intelligence, avoiding raising my hand in class and other opportunities, believing I wasn’t good enough. At that moment, I realized self-doubt wasn’t just a fleeting feeling; it was becoming a roadblock. Determined to change my thinking, I applied what I had learned in my psychology class to challenge these patterns.
How CBT Helped Me Break the Cycle
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is built on a simple yet powerful idea: our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are interconnected (Beck, 2011). Change one, and you can influence the others. This therapeutic approach, developed by Aaron Beck in the 1960s, is one of the most evidence-based and widely used strategies for managing stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges (Beck, 2011). Regarding resilience, CBT is crucial in helping individuals develop cognitive flexibility, emotional regulation, and adaptive coping strategies (Beck, 2011).
CBT Strategies that Helped me Change my Perspective
1. Catching Negative Thoughts
The first step in CBT is awareness. In my clinical psychology class, we were introduced to the idea of a “thought record.” A thought record is a CBT tool to identify, challenge, and reframe negative or unhelpful thoughts (Beck, 2011). It helps individuals become more aware of their automatic thoughts, examine the evidence for and against them, and develop more balanced, realistic perspectives. Essentially, every time I noticed self-doubt creeping in, I wrote it down in a weekly log. For example:
Situation: Preparing for a class presentation in front of many people.
Thought: “I’m going to mess up, and everyone will think I’m incompetent.”
Emotion & Intensity: Anxiety (8/10), fear (7/10), shame (6/10), self-doubt (9/10)
Seeing my thoughts on paper was eye-opening, revealing patterns in my negative thinking. It made me realize how often my mind jumped to worst-case scenarios and illustrated my negative automatic thinking.
2. Challenging Cognitive Distortions
Once I identified a negative thought, the next step was to challenge it. In class, our professor encouraged us to meet cognitive distortions with these questions:
What evidence supports this thought?
Evidence For: “I made a mistake and felt unprepared in the moment.
What evidence contradicts it?
Evidence Against: “I am still learning, and errors are normal in life.
What’s a more balanced way to view this situation or an alternative thought?
Alternative Thought: "Mistakes are part of growth. I will use this experience to improve and be more prepared next time."
Asking myself these questions helped reframe my cognitive distortions as instead of thinking, “I’ll mess up my presentation,” I reframed it, “I’ve practiced and prepared. Even if I stumble, it doesn’t define my ability.” The outcome of this practice led me to reflect and re-evaluate my emotions and their intensity, and every time I practiced it, my anxiety and self-doubt decreased significantly.
3. Practicing Self-Compassion
CBT also taught me to treat myself with the kindness I would offer a friend. When self-doubt crept in, I practiced affirmations like:
“It’s okay to make mistakes; I’m still learning.”
“One moment doesn’t define my worth.”
Over time, utilizing these reframes became second nature, and I began to challenge my cognitive distortions and automatic negative thoughts without the need to write them down.
CBT Thought Record Template
1. Situation | 2. Negative Automatic Thought | 3. Initial Emotion (x/10) | 4. Cognitive Distortion | 5. Evidence For The Thought |
Describe the event that triggered the thought. | What negative thought(s) came up? | Rate the intensity of emotion(s) (e.g., anxiety 8/10). | Identify distortions like overgeneralization, catastrophizing, or labelling. | What is your evidence in support of this thought? |
6. Evidence Against The Thought | 7. Balanced Thought | 8. Re-Rated Emotion (x/10) | 9. Next Steps | 10. Reflection |
What facts/evidence contradicts this thought? | Reframe the thought in a more balanced way. | Re-rate emotions after reframing (e.g., anxiety 4/10) | What action can you take to reinforce this new perspective? | What did you learn from this experience? How will you handle similar situations in the future? |
My Personal Thought Record
The Ripple Effect: How CBT Enriched My Life
As I began to rewire my thinking, the effects rippled into other areas of my life. I started taking more risks – raising my hand in class, volunteering for leadership roles, and even pursuing hobbies and activities I once avoided. The voice of self-doubt didn’t disappear entirely, but it became quieter. Now, I know how to respond and handle it when it speaks up.
Tips for Tackling Self-Doubt
If self-doubt holds you back, here are some actionable steps inspired by CBT:
Journal Your Thoughts: Write down moments of self-doubt or negative automatic thoughts and analyze the patterns or use a thought record.
Challenge Assumptions & Cognitive Distortions: Ask yourself, “Is this thought true? What’s the evidence?”
Reframe Negative Self-Talk: Replace harsh judgments with compassionate affirmations.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge even small accomplishments to build confidence.
Seek Support: Therapy can be a game-changer if you are struggling, but you can also seek encouragement from friends, family, or mentors – you are not alone!
Final Thoughts
